Water Glasses

These were my Grandma Donna's water glasses

A revelation of sorts hit me this Thanksgiving. As many of you know, my Grandma Donna, my mom's mom, had dementia; not quite Alzheimer's, but definitely dementia. On a good day she knows my name, often when she is not asked. More in casual conversation she will say, "Brenda, what did so and so say?" On a bad day, of which I have not really witnessed, she will kick one of her care givers.

As I set the dinner table for Thanksgiving this year, I used the water glasses that she gave me when she had to give up her house and moved into my parent's house and eventually on to assisted living. This Thanksgiving, I thought I would ask her about the water glasses to see if she remembered...

My sister and I are my grandma's only two grandchildren, my mom was an only child. I grew up with her. Not a week went by when I did not see my grandma. My sister and I loved to go over there, and our favorite spot was to go to the Jack-in-the-Box drive thru with her when we spent the night with her; my grandpa worked nights.

When I asked her about about the water glasses she looked at me with a blank stare. She started to get a bit confused so I had to change the conversation on to if she wanted pie or not. Something inside of me really needed for her to acknowledge the fact that she remembered, the other part of me knew she would not. How could my Grandma, the woman that I knew so well growing up, not remember such a simple thing?

The last few years I have not made the effort to try and really Talk to my Grandma. Something inside of me was kind of scared to try. Today for the first time in a few years I really made the effort to carry on a conversation, and it FAILED. It failed in a big way, but I'm okay with this. This was really the first time I really had conversation with my Grandma the way it used to be. Sure, it didn't go so well. But, I'm okay with this. I was actually talking to her the way it is going to be now and it felt good.

My Grandma knows that I have children, and lights up when she sees them. She constantly calls Raif a she, but tonight when she was in the car going home she told my mom, "he really is a cute little guy," or something like that.

My mom, GOD bless her, still goes to see her mom quite often, and talks, talks, talks to her. I'm not sure if the conversation goes anywhere, but at least they talk. So, from now on I'm going to talk to my Grandma. I know deep down inside of me she knows exactly who I am, and who my children are, and just how special she is to all of us. So, I'm going to keep on talking to her and I know when none of us are on this Earth, God will give her back her mind and she and I will have those conversations we once both cherished.